A whole bunch of craziness...

8 vials of blood later, the glucose tolerance test is finished...I really hope the doctor got the complete picture of my hormones, blood counts, etc. The test itself wasn't that bad. I went in, they took 4 vials of blood, gave me a really sweet (read: gross) orange drink that I had to drink in 5 minutes. After I drank it, I went back out to sit in the waiting room for an hour. I got called back in and they took 2 vials of blood at 1 hour. Then, since I was doing well (some people have sugar crashes or feel physically ill - but I was fine), I got to run errands around town - so I went and paid a bill before going back for the last blood draw. At the 2nd hour, they took 2 more vials and then I was done. I hope I'll find out soon what the blood work shows.

I had said in an earlier post that I had Squish and Little Bit (two little girls that are really special to me - one is 9 and one is 5) come visit me in New Bern. It was wonderful, but makes me glad I am not a mom right now. I am still a fan of having my own schedule and getting time to watch the shows I want or to talk to my friends on the phone when I want. They exhausted me every day - but we had so much fun too! I got to take them all around New Bern and take pictures with all the bears around town. Being with them did fan the flame of wanting to be a mom eventually. Little Bit called me mom several times on accident and each time, it was a bittersweet moment. I love that she felt so comfortable with me that it was like I was mom, but it was painful, because I don't know if I'll ever get to hear those words from my own little girl (or boy). One of my friends sent me a message this week on Facebook after seeing the pictures and said, "I know you will be a great mommy one day." It broke my heart.

I hate to keep dwelling on this fact - I'm sure anyone who reads this is tired of hearing it by now - but I want to be a mom. I have always wanted to be a mom. I know that I can adopt and God has been building that heart in me for a long time - but there is a part of me that doesn't want to consider that. I want to have my own child, the "old fashioned way". I don't want to struggle with this, but I'm still keeping it in perspective. There is a mourning process that comes along with any diagnosis (or so a million websites say). I think for me, this is part of that process of learning to accept it. Not accept that I'll never have kids - but learning to accept that I am now in the post-PCOS era of my life. And that this means changes - and change isn't bad.

I got my Insulin Resistance Diet book today. It was recommended by my doctor for a great way to start eating better for my body and the fact that it does not respond to insulin normally. The basic premise is that for every 15 g of carbs I eat, I should eat 7 g of protein - and I shouldn't eat more that 30 g of carbs at any one time. Simple enough in theory - in practice, we'll see.

On a semi-related note...this diagnosis has caused me to do a lot of re-evaluation. As such, I have decided to begin training for a 5k the week that school starts. Using the Couch to 5k Training plan, I should be ready to run a 5k the weekend before my birthday and that's the weekend of the 5k over the Neuse River Bridge by my apartment. I honestly don't know why I want to do the 5k - but I think a big part of it is that I've always been the non-runner, so having had my world turned upside down, I might as well go for something I never thought I could do! And what a great way to ring in my 25th year!!

On a completely unrelated note...tomorrow begins a huge adventure! Jeff and I are going on a trip together. We are first going to Upstate NY to see my family and to show him around where my parents grew up. On Tuesday, we'll leave NY and heading to Boston, Mass to meet up with his parents and sister and to visit his family for a few days. I'm so super excited for this time with him. I love that I'll get to be in the car with him and to have so much time to talk and continue building our relationship! :)